ESC

Anna Paquin is a dork

“Mommy said to go out and play. Mommy said to wear my helmet at all times even when not riding. Mommy said I’m special and that’s why I get this pink bike and pink helmet. I’m specialer than you, actually. Mommy told me to not eat glue because glue is bad for you but I like glue because it’s yummy. Do you have any? Uh oh. Mommy said not to talk to strangers. Stranger danger! Stranger danger!”

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Dalton Russell
Dalton Russell
12 years ago

Hey TheBlemish,

Amazing picture of Anna Paquin. It really sells itself. All you needed was the caption. It is a pretty pitiable situation, that she would totally dork out like this. She was even semi-hot in Spike Lee’s “25th Hour”. Such a shame. Helmets are for losers and retards.

And the ‘glove-slap duel challenge’ was a good line.

And “… became a full-grown fetus making the cha-ching sound”, was the day’s best. Though you may be going a bit hard at Samatha, as I too would bone Jude Law for an 18-year subsidy.

Cash907
Cash907
12 years ago

As cute as your commentary is Blemish, I’m pretty sure California has a Nazi-like bike helmet law. As stupid as that helmet looks, it’s better then pictures of her getting ticketed for not wearing a helmet, which TMZ and well, sites like yours, would have an even bigger field day with.

Also, those dorky pink retro bikes are all the fucking rage right now, sadly. There’s a place in Riverside that reconditions original Schwinn’s from the 50’s and 60’s, and sells the damn things for 10 grand apiece.

Kristine
Kristine
12 years ago

Um…haven’t you ever heard of a head injury? Making fun of people who wear helmets is lame. The pink bike is pretty awful though.

Danny
Danny
12 years ago
Reply to  Kristine

I hear ya! Ohh look at Anna Paquin, making a good impression. Let’s laugh at her! =D

Walter
Walter
12 years ago

A dork is a whale’s penis. She doesn’t look like one to me.

Sarah
Sarah
12 years ago

It might not be solely the helmet as much as it is the white basket on the bicycle in combination with the helmet.

jerk
jerk
12 years ago

Safety first Anna! Safety is cool.

Zee Brat
Zee Brat
12 years ago

Yes, laugh at her because she’d rather not be brain dead. Genius.

Bite me Blemish
Bite me Blemish
12 years ago

Since when is wanting to protect your skull from being dented on the bonnet of a car a BAD thing.

Jeez.

twzzlrgirl
twzzlrgirl
12 years ago

Why don’t you find a pic of a celebrity wearing a seat belt and make fun of that too. You are really hilarious.

Kris
Kris
12 years ago

Would you rather have her do coke off the helmet?? Shame on a celebrity who is actually creating a positive influence. Being safe and following laws like the common people, how stupid of her!!!

Ro
Ro
12 years ago

Yeesh. The helmet shows she’s safety-minded and law abiding, and she’s riding a bike because she’s health conscious and fit. Yeah, gee, terrible combination. What are you, nuts?

karen
karen
12 years ago

Yeah, never mind a photo of her getting ticketed, how about a photo of her with her brain all over the road, or since it would probably be less dramatic than that.. her falling off, getting back up, going home then dying in her sleep (like Natasha Richardson a while ago) What is more lame, wearing a helmet (when like someone said, a lot of places have laws REQUIRING THEM) or dying because you were too cool to wear a helmet ? hmmmmmmm…. anyway she is a dork because she just plain looks like one. Her face is all flat… Read more »

dixy
dixy
12 years ago

The idiot writer probably loved Chris Brown beating up that Jamaican chick too. What a retard.

o rly
o rly
12 years ago
Reply to  dixy

dixy, you idiot, what Jamaican chick are you talking about, retard?

James S.
James S.
12 years ago

First time reading this site. To the writer: Um, you’re not funny. Read The Superficial profusely to understand the nuances of good celebutard writing. And the girl here is wearing a helmet for safety, because thousands of people are killed in bicycling accidents every year. I fail to see the humor in all of this. Was it a slow day? Were you scrounging about for material? Are you so bitter in your existence that you have to pick on people via an anonymous blog to make yourself feel better? Yeah, don’t get it at all. Lame site.

Megan
Megan
12 years ago

ditto. this is the most pointless post ever. are you in middle school? only idiots don’t wear helmets.

ryan
ryan
12 years ago

Wah wah wah, I’m a little bitch. Wah wah wah.

[translated]

krandem
krandem
12 years ago

helmets are cooler than splattered brains.

orwell
orwell
12 years ago

It’s a lose-lose situation.

1. She wears a helmet, suffers an accident, survives because of the helmet and you make fun of her.

or

2. She doesn’t wear a helmet, suffers an accident, enters into a coma because of the absence of a helmet and you make fun of her.

Nice Blemish. Very nice.

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