Chris Brown has been sentenced

Chris Brown showed up to court today to be sentenced for beating up Rihanna. The terms were:

  • Brown is on felony probation for 5 years. He must report to probation within 72 hours.
  • He is subject to search and seizure 24/7 for the next 5 years.
  • He can’t own any dangerous weapons including guns or knives.
  • He must provide DNA samples as requested by authorities.
  • The judge will issue a protective order to stay 100 yards away from her. He can’t have any contact with her even on the phone or through a third party unless it’s an entertainment related event, in which case, the distance is 10 yards. This will be for the next 5 years.
  • Brown must complete a 52-week domestic violence program sponsored by the Commonwealth Catholic Charities.
  • Brown must personally go to court every 3 months during his probation. The first appearance will be on November 19.
  • Brown must perform 180 days community labor. Brown can perform his community labor in Virginia.
  • He must pay $2,500 in restitution. Pay another $2,500 in probation expenses. Pay a $30 criminal conviction fee. Pay $400 that will go into a domestic violence fund.
  • Brown must get approval before leaving the country.

The judge also implied she’s heard the chatter on the airwaves that Chris Brown and Rihanna are talking again and made it clear that she’s not messing around.

Chris is lucky the judge didn’t take into consideration my suggestion of throwing him in a cage with one of Michael Vick’s dogs. Maybe next time. Although, the worst part about this is Chris has to find another way to brag about sleeping with a woman. I don’t think nodding his head at a girl and saying, “I hit that,” is going to have the same desired effect anymore.

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