Heidi Montag gives the greatest performance ever

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Heidi Montag performed at the Miss Universe pageant and it was the most beautiful thing I’ve ever witnessed. I almost shed a tear. It’s like angels themselves came down from the heavens and blessed me with their song. I knew right after listening to Heidi lip-sync her way through a pre-recorded track that I would never hear or see a performance as divine as that again.

No, but really. This has to be the worst thing to ever grace a stage. I’ve seen three-legged dogs on the verge of death give better performances than this. Heidi could barely follow the choreography or lip-sync. Not tripping and falling on her face was a moral victory in itself. I’d rather see a bear balancing on a ball while being zapped with a cattle prod. At least then you know something interesting might happen. Unlike this where the only reprieve from the ear bleeding music was a montage of all the contestants every couple of minutes. If it wasn’t for that, I would have thrown myself out the window.

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14 years ago

i love the brilliance of the producers throwing in the models at 2 minute intervals. BRAVO for covering up the humilation somehow!!!