Jessica Biel is a threat to you


And not just because of her barbaric build and unchecked masculinity. Security technology company McAfee Inc. released a list comprised of the most dangerous celebrity searches that may cause risk or damage to your personal computer. I know what you’re thinking, it’s a good thing you search for your Vanessa Hudgens wallpaper while at work.

The inexplicable desire for images of Biel’s pecs and triceps were enough to knock Brad Pitt off of the number one spot from last year’s list. Tsk, tsk. Two men at the top of the list in two years. You lady celebrities need to step your game up.

“Every day, cybercriminals use celebrities’ names and images, like Kim Kardashian and Rihanna, to lure surfers searching for the latest stories, screen savers and ringtones to sites offering free downloads laden with malware.”

Jennifer Aniston came in at number three with the following warning:

“Hollywood’s favorite leading lady should be searched with caution. More than 40% of the Google search results for ‘Jennifer Aniston screensavers’ contained nasty viruses, including one called the ‘FunLove virus.”

Life is so unfair.  You can get a FunLove virus just by merely clicking on Jennifer Aniston’s name while she has to conveniently halfway show her vagina to Gerard Butler in hopes of attracting any number of his viruses.  You can’t help but feel sorry for her.  Maybe some good fortune will finally find her and by this time next year, she’ll be the third man to top next year’s list.


  • Melanie Myers

    When Chelsea did a whole segment on perfume and why you shouldn’t use it. I knew something was up, because Jennifer hawks perfume. That’s just who Chelsea is. Jennifer should just get over it. But if you think Chelsea cares, she doesn’t. [email protected]

  • hotfive

    Rule #1: Always pretend Aniston is heterosexual and that her marriage is genuine.

  • ST

    Girl code is girl code. If you blab, especially about someone’s marriage, you are out. But the blabbing is usually payback for having already been eased out. Maybe too big a mouth re Angelina?

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