Macaulay Culkin is Blanket’s father

The questions about who Michael Jackson’s son Blanket’s real father is can be put to rest. The infallible Sun is on the case and they point their little, bony, accusing finger at Macaulay Culkin. Looking serious and blowing bubbles out of their pipe, the detectives at The Sun claim a source told them:

“This isn’t just chitter-chatter, even Culkin suspects he’s Blanket’s father.

“So many names have been mentioned as prospective dads, and this is probably the wackiest yet.

“But Jackson and Culkin were best friends. He was one of the few people Jackson really trusted and Mack never let him down.

“Really, Jackson idolised him – that’s why he asked Mack to donate sperm.

“Deep down, I think he always wished Mack was his son. Creating Blanket was the next best thing.”

If this was in any way true, what’d be interesting is to see how that conversation went. Did Michael take Culkin to a nice dinner and proposition him over dessert? Did he lead in to it or straight out demand it? Did Culkin drop his fork in utter shock or sheer disgust when Michael asked? Did he play it cool and slowly back away out of the restaurant never to be heard from again? Because that’s what I would have done.