Poor Megan Hauserman. Always the bridesmaid, never the bride. Years and years of paying her dues as a reality show contestant and finally she gets her big break starring in her own reality show, Megan Wants A Millionaire. Then what happens? VH1 goes and cancels it just because one of the contestants strangles his girlfriend, cuts off her fingers, pulls out her teeth, stuffs her into a suitcase naked, throws her in a dumpster in the park, escapes to Canada and hangs himself in a motel. It’s like the world is conspiring against her.
That’s okay though. Megan has a plan B which is to strut around in a bikini all day until paparazzi pay attention. Failing that, she’ll just put out a sex tape or something. That always works.
The Rest of the Web, Friday, 4.28.17
Sign Me Up for This Napping Fitness Class
Beyoncé Ordering Food Has Turned into a Meme
Kids Who Want to Waste Thousands of Dollars Studying a Fake ‘Game of Thrones’ Language Are in Luck
Jennifer Lawrence Is Totally Marrying Darren Aronofsky This Summer
Katy Perry’s New Song Empowers Women To Have Food Sex or Something
Ja Rule’s $12,000 Ticket Music Festival Ends in ‘Lord of the Flies’ Nightmare With Kidnapping and Mugging Rumors
Obama’s First Joke About Trump Was Perfect
Rita Ora’s Gonna Regret This Outfit One Day
It’s Kylie Jenner’s Soulless Dead Eyes…And Her Sexy Midriff!
Kendall Jenner Gets Camera Shy Which Is Really Ironic
R. Kelly Sued for Nailing Sheriff Deputy’s Wife and Giving Her Chlamydia