Madonna’s handsome brother, Christopher Ciccone, took a moment away from admiring his receding hairline, perfectly shaped eyebrows, and double chin to critique his sister’s recent look. He could take a lesson or two from me in insults and learn how to properly utilize the sandwich technique: insult, compliment, insult. Without my assistance, Ciccone is only capable of throwing up jabs that barely make any sense.
E! News believes he was speaking ill of the pop icon’s outfit at the 2009 MTV Video Music Awards when he said, “She looked like Rachel Zoe gone horribly wrong!”
I’m so terribly confused by this statement. Isn’t Rachel Zoe already a version a Rachel Zoe gone horribly wrong? And isn’t Madonna already considered an expired version of herself as well? Ciccone probably yells out similar insults to his own reflection, “You’re like a man-sized Khloe Kardashian who only uses her sister’s fame for personal gain, who has nice hair, and also has double chins!” After which, I would applaud him for his successful execution of the sandwich technique.
[Image: Splash News]
How ‘The Fast and the Furious’ Franchise Turned the Streets Into a Universe
Here’s Reese Witherspoon Running Because She Has to Work ‘Twice as Hard’ as a Man
Khloe Kardashian’s Body Being Robbed Blind by Tristan Thompson
‘Kingsman: The Golden Circle’ Has a Trailer and Channing Tatum
CJ Franco and Danielle Lombard are Models on a Yacht
The Rest of the Web, Monday, 4.24.17
Former Spice Girl Seduced 18-Year-Old Nanny
McDonald’s New Uniforms Are Perfect for the Dystopian Society We Live In
Hot New Beauty Hack: Bounce Your Boyfriend’s Balls On Your Face
What Trump Sounds Like Trying to Form Intelligible Words
Amber Heard One Step Closer to Billions of Dollars
Amanda Bynes Returns to Twitter with One Very, Non-Crazy Tweet