Ellen DeGeneres was signed yesterday to replace Paula Abdul as the fourth judge on American Idol. DeGeneres, who has no requisite experience whatsoever, says she will be the people’s voice. Because just like the people, she has no clue what to look for in a contestant.
“Hopefully I’m the people’s point of view because I’m just like you,” DeGeneres says. “I sit at home and I watch it. … I’m not looking at it in a critical way from the producer’s mind. I’m looking at it as a person who is going to buy the music and is going to relate to that person.
So, not a huge change then. Much like Paula, Ellen will be giving pointless opinions which have no bearing on the competition and with which the other judges will sneer at in disdain. Simon will get tired of Ellen’s nervously delivered jokes in two weeks. Expect him to make Ellen cry on national television in less than a month.
Emily Ratajkowski and Her Sports Bra Hit the Streets
This Isn’t Aaron Hernandez’s Gay Lover, Just His Really Close Friend, Says the Guy’s Attorney
Kate Beckinsale in Thigh High Boots, What More Do You Want?
Here’s Al Pacino With His 38-Year-Old Girlfriend
Scarlett Johansson Wants to Party With Her Doppelganger Grandma
You Can Get Dragon Frappuccinos Instead of Unicorn Frappuccinos Now If You Really Hate Yourself
The Rest of the Web, Wednesday, 4.26.17
Heineken Just Out-Pepsi’d Pepsi
Aaron Hernandez Leaves Gay Prison Lover Without Explanation for Suicide
Kourtney Kardashian Posted a Bunch of Butt Shots Online
The Pope Has to Root for Michigan Football After Getting These Jordans
Waste Your Time Today Looking For A Snake