Ellen DeGeneres will be the fourth judge

Ellen DeGeneres was signed yesterday to replace Paula Abdul as the fourth judge on American Idol. DeGeneres, who has no requisite experience whatsoever, says she will be the people’s voice. Because just like the people, she has no clue what to look for in a contestant.

“Hopefully I’m the people’s point of view because I’m just like you,” DeGeneres says. “I sit at home and I watch it. … I’m not looking at it in a critical way from the producer’s mind. I’m looking at it as a person who is going to buy the music and is going to relate to that person.

So, not a huge change then. Much like Paula, Ellen will be giving pointless opinions which have no bearing on the competition and with which the other judges will sneer at in disdain. Simon will get tired of Ellen’s nervously delivered jokes in two weeks. Expect him to make Ellen cry on national television in less than a month.

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