Jessica Simpson is currently in Africa for her VH1 show, The Price of Beauty. She posted a picture of herself on Twitter sleeping in mosquito netting with the question, “WTF?!? Do I really have to sleep like this?”
The answer to that is, of course not. You can sleep without any netting at all. Based on what I’ve learned from National Geographic, Africa is filled with devastatingly cute insects whose bites give you super powers like Spider-Man. Their public transportation consists of winged vegan lions that will take you between cities. The only payment they require is to be pet. There are definitely not thousands of mosquitoes that’ll suck your blood in the middle of the night and give you malaria. I think that was a myth made up by local Africans to keep the tourists out.
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