Ryan is gay for Ellen

Ryan Seacrest put down the concealer for five seconds to give his thoughts on Ellen DeGeneres becoming the new judge on American Idol. According to FOX Pop Tarts, he can hardly wait to have someone on the show coherent enough to teach him how to braid his hair.

“We love Ellen, she is a superstar. She will change the sexual tension,” Seacrest told us at the Emmy’s on Sunday night. “Simon and Paula had a specific sort of tension, but this will be quite different…”

Quite different in a sense that there is finally a judge on this show that prefers vagina. This way, Simon doesn’t have to deal with Ryan flying into a jealous rage and threatening self-harm every time Ellen looks his way or grazes his arm. I would say the commercial breaks could now be filled with friendly conversation instead of Ryan reapplying his runny mascara, but some things never change.

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