Salma Hayek teaches you how to get a table

Are you a celebrity? Are you trying to get seated at the Chateau Marmont or a similarly trendy restaurant without reservations on a busy night? Do you know more than one language? Then you’re in luck. With Salma Hayek’s patented system, you may not get seated right away, but you will definitely move to the top of the reservation list.

Just follow these three easy steps. 1) Freak out when the hostess says she can’t seat you because no tables are available. 2) Make a scene by yelling in another language. 3) Ignore the hostess trying to calm you down until she acquiesces and promises you the first table available. Success! Radar reports:

The beautiful actress was with a couple of girlfriends and when she realized the patio was full and the hostess wouldn’t seat her – Salma freaked out! She created a scene, yelling Spanish.

Radar says no translator was on hand, but

…we’re pretty sure she wasn’t yelling how happy she was and how much she loved the restaurant. The hostess tried to calm her down and said she could have the first available table. Even her girlfriends tried to calm her down. But Salma was steaming and then switched to complaining in English and didn’t stop until a party left and she was seated.

Please note. Salma’s System will not work with non-celebrities because they are not to be respected in civilized society. Any attempt to duplicate these results without first being in the pages of PEOPLE or Us will result in the manager telling you to calm down before he calls the cops and then tasering you anyway. Salma will not be held liable for any injuries incurred when police come by to beat you with a baton.

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14 years ago

I F-ing hate celebrities. If it weren’t for Salma’s magnificent tits, I would wish for her to DIE IN A F-ING FIRE!

14 years ago

I read somewhere that she said that the reported incident did not happen.

14 years ago

I don’t believe this happened. Gorgeous women with unbelievable tits never act like this. Even if she did, I’d still hit it for a good, long time.