Are you serious, Kelly Clarkson? A salad? At this stage in the game? Is this supposed to be ironic? Like when morbidly obese people buy running shoes. Level with me. You’re going to top that off with M&M’s and Oreo crumbs, aren’t you? And instead of light ranch dressing, you’re going to use hot fudge and caramel? Don’t worry. You can tell me. I won’t judge. Well, I will. But not to your face.