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The Sun claims Amy Winehouse had a secret boob job to prepare for her spectacular comeback on Strictly Come Dancing. She allegedly checked into a clinic at the beginning of last week and spent $55,000 to boost her 32B’s to 32D’s.

The bill covers her procedure, her hospital stay and recovery treatment. One worker at the London clinic said: “She looks amazing, like a new woman. Amy told us she wanted a new look – it’s all part of her fresh start for her big comeback.

“We all feared she’d fallen off the wagon when she came in. Then we saw her bouncing around with these huge boobs which stand out as she’s so tiny and skinny.”

One patient claims they spoke to Amy and that she was incomprehensible as ever.

“She was wandering around in a daze, humming under her breath. She had tubes hanging out of her bust so I asked what she’d had done.

Amy Winehouse has announced she will perform on Strictly Come Dancing this weekend

“She started rambling and said, ‘I’ve had a boob job. I ‘ad ’em done for Strictly. I wanted to look my best and I’m sick of stuffing hankies down my bra’.

“It was hilarious. I didn’t even know she was going on the show – but the way she was when I saw her she was struggling to string a sentence together.

“I’ll be amazed if she can sing on TV. She seemed in a hell of a state – completely out of it.”

That’s cool. All girls should get boob jobs if they have small breasts. Big breasts are the answer to everything. At least according to the Bible. There’s a passage about Jesus motorboating a pair of DD’s in there somewhere. I’m too lazy to look it up, but just trust me on this, dude.

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