Avril Lavigne files for divorce

Well it’s about time. Avril has been partying on yachts, shoving liquor down her throat, shoving liquor down other people’s throats and ballooning in weight for the past few months while Deryck Whibley stayed home and banged on a coconut trying to get it open. Today, she finally got around to filing for divorce. The reason is the ubiquitous “irreconcilable differences”. On her website, she wrote:

Deryck and I have been together for 6 and a half years. We have been friends since I was 17, started dating when I was 19, and married when I was 21. I am grateful for our time together, and I am grateful and blessed for our remaining friendship. I admire Deryck and have a great amount of respect for him. He is the most amazing person I know and I love him with all my heart. Deryck and I are separating and moving forward on a positive note.

Thank you to all my family, friends and fans for all your support. []

Radar reports that Avril and Deryck have been separated since September 4. Avril has requested the court terminate Whilbey’s right to spousal support. She has also requested Deryck be moved to a nicer habitat. One where he can be with his own kind. Where drinking your own pee isn’t frowned upon.

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