Elizabeth Taylor updated her Twitter informing everyone she has to go in for a very new type of surgery to try and fix her heart. If you have any spare prayers lying around, she’d appreciate them. If not, then you can go to hell.
“Dear Friends, I would like to let you know before it gets in the papers that I am going into the hospital to have a procedure on my heart. It’s very new and involves repairing my leaky valve using a clip device, without open heart surgery, so that my heart will function better. Any prayers you happen to have lying around I would dearly appreciate. I’ll let you know when it’s all over. Love you, Elizabeth.”
I can relate. One time I had to fix a leaky valve in my heart by using a clip device too. Wait, no. Not heart. I meant car. Nevermind. I guess I can’t relate after all.
This Is Aaron Hernandez’s Alleged Prison Lover
Ashley Graham Sticks Her Breasts in Your Face
Christina Aguilera’s Cleavage Makes Its Return
The Rest of the Web, Tuesday, 4.25.17
Whose Penis Does Caitlyn Jenner Have to Cut Off to Get Some Ratings Around Here??
‘The Dark Knight’ Didn’t Kill Heath Ledger
Ivanka Trump Booed At Women’s Summit
Why Chris Pratt Won’t Take A Picture With You
Aaron Hernandez Wrote ‘ILLUMINATI’ in Blood on Prison Wall and Entering ‘Timeless Realm’ in Suicide Note
‘Cash Me Ousside’ Girl Got Her Ass Kicked, How Bow Dah?
Tom Hardy — ‘I Caught the C*nt’
‘The Bachelor’ Chris Soules Allegedly Killed a Man and Will Be Passing Out Roses In Jail