ESC

Good news and bad news

The good news is that for a mere $140,000, Charlize Theron will make out with you for 20 seconds like she did with one lucky winner at the OneXOne fundraiser in SF yesterday. The bad news is that to get that kind of cash you’ll have to come out of forced retirement and work that corner again. Us writes:

And while she was initially selling a 2010 trip to South Africa that included World Cup tickets, a safari and a meet-and-greet with Nelson Mandela, she raised the stakes when bidding stalled at $37,000, far below the $280,000 Jeremy Piven had just raised.

“For f*** sake! You can do better,” she tells attendees. “There is no way I am leaving here with Jeremy Piven getting a higher bid. I’ve got t**** for God’s sake.”

To sweeten the pot, she offered up a 7-second kiss for $130,000 to a male bidder. “Swine flu is going around. This is high risk kissing!” she told him.

After one man bid $135,000, a woman upped the stakes to $140,000 — ascending the stage for a 20-second smooch as the audience counted down.

And that concludes the story of how I just masturbated two minutes ago.

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