Paris Hilton claims she’s intelligent

It must be Opposite Day because Paris Hilton is running around claiming she is intelligent and “down to earth“. So down to earth that she showed off her color coordinated gym-turned-closet and sauna-turned-jewelry room, which was organized by the hired help, to ITV’s Fearne. That Paris, she’s just like us!

“I would do the baby voice and it’s kind of like this character I made up, but in real life I’m completely different, I’m very down to earth, I’m smart, I know what’s going on.”

“I think a lot of people will assume that I’m just like an airhead. But in my everyday life, when I’m hanging out with my friends or if I’m in a business meeting I’ll talk in my normal voice.”

Just by interviewing Paris, Fearne mysteriously contracted the Paris Hilton hybrid STD of Herpes Pappiloma Chlamydia Itch. And in the spirit of Opposite Day, I’d like to take a moment to share that I am an unattractive, overweight, unibrowed female with B cup breasts that sag and rest on my gut. Sigh. If only it truly was Opposite Day.