Tara Reid to pose for Playboy, world weeps

On October 7, Tara Reid stripped down and posed for the cover of an upcoming Playboy. On October 8, men stabbed their eyes with a screwdriver. If you’re curious, yes Tara realizes her stomach looks like someone just got done punching silly putty, but she doesn’t care.

“She was a bit insecure about her body when they first started,” says an insider. “She looked great and finally got into the groove.” Tara had said in the past that she would never pose for Playboy, saying, “I know there are problems with my stomach. There are bumps on it, it’s uneven, but it’s not that bad. My stomach scars are my battle wounds.”

A missing arm from a roadside bombing, a scar on your chest from a sniper or stab wounds from a ninja attack are battle wounds. Misshapen breasts and a stomach that looks like it just got tilled as a result of botched plastic surgery are not battle wounds. That’s the result of vanity combined with a dwindling bank account. It’s like she found a surgeon on Craigslist whose only prior experience was playing Operation.

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14 years ago

Playboy didn’t actually pay for this did they?? If so, Hef must really be senile. Well, I’m sure the airbrush dept. will be working a lot of overtime on this one.

14 years ago

Tara Reid

There once was a woman named Tara
Whose skin looked like Yogi Berra
It was flabby and thin
But when caught by the wind
She could set sail the French Riviera