This doesn’t need to be said out loud, but Alessandra Ambrosio is really pretty. If I had to choose between kissing her or a fat, hairy dude in a tutu holding a wand that’d grant me any wish I want, I’d choose Alessandra. If all I had to do was cross a threshold of poison-laced bear traps to have sex with her, I’d carefully navigate through for about two seconds before sprinting straight across and humping her with my dying breath.