ESC

Jessica Alba does not feel the sexy

Ironic that everyone in the world finds Jessica Alba to be muy caliente. Everyone but Jessica. She tells E! that,

“I never feel sexy..I’m always wondering when my next break is…I want to call home and talk to my hubby or talk to my friends or check on my daughter. I’m never thinking I’m sexy.”

Oh Jessica, let me help you rediscover your sexy. You want the sexy? I can give you the sexy. It’s what I call me willie. Zoink!

Seriously, though, if nine months later a ten pound butterball squirts out, you’re not looking to try on miniskirts the next day. If I saw some creature appear out the top of my willie, I’d freak out and cry for my mama. Then, I’d wonder when this acid trip would end. Eventually, we’d end up talking about philosophy and the meaning of life. Point being, acid makes childbirth bearable.

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