Jon Gosselin has a sex tape no one wants to see

According to Jon Gosselin’s former nanny, Stephanie Santoro, Jon’s bodyguard Tom Meinelt told her that Jon has a sex tape and he’s seen it.

“Tom told me that Jon was secretly videotaped having sex with a woman in Los Angeles in October, and he’s seen the tape! Tom said people close to Jon put a camera in his hotel room, and paid a girl to flirt with Jon and have sex with him. He also told me that he saw Jon snort cocaine on more than one occasion, and that the more Jon got into partying, the more cocaine he used!”

Thankfully this is according to the National Enquirer giving it a merciful 85% chance of not being true. You can take that gun away from your head now and call off the assassin you hired to kill whoever videotaped this abomination. Surprisingly, watching a short, fat guy grunt like he’s having a heart attack every time he jams his junk into a prostitute isn’t very high on my list of things to do.