Mariah Carey is not pregnant

In an interview with Larry King, Mariah Carey set the record straight and denied the pregnancy rumors she concocted on her own accord. I can’t imagine any respectable media outlet claiming she is pregnant as she is clearly and simply old and overweight. Still, Mariah looks forward to one day being pregnant.

“It would be the happiest thing in my life, but what I’m saying is right now with this movie [Precious] coming out, with the next few singles from the album and those things that I’m doing, I need to focus on that, because I cannot do the having-a-child thing halfway.”

“I wouldn’t be just like, ‘Oh, I’m having a child, Yay! Let me get a nanny so I can give her the baby. Take the kid. That doesn’t work for me. I don’t believe in that.”

It’s true, Mariah could never hire a nanny to take care of her child. I hear she gets a lot of practice changing Nick’s diapers and giving him a warm bottle whenever he’s fussy. That, or she gives him a blow job. In which case, she’ll make a very horrible, scary mother.