Screw you, Derek Jeter

Minka Kelly is in St. Barts with her dork boyfriend Derek Jeter. Here she is doing stuff in a bikini. I’ve always wondered why she’s with him instead of me. Sure, he may have batting averages, fame and money, but I have love, compassion and chloroform and if I could just get close enough to Minka when she’s alone, I know things will work out.

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