Ashlee Simpson still getting work, Jessica still getting fat

Ashlee Simpson made her debut has Roxie Hart in the Broadway play Chicago in NYC Monday night. Amazingly, people still hire her over her much better looking sister Jessica. I wonder why. Maybe it’s because Jessica let herself go. We could talk about the play and how Ashlee seemed to do fine, but let’s criticize Jessica’s weight. That seems more fun.

Jess showed up to the premiere last night looking a little heftier. She used to be all fit and toned with big breasts. Now her abs look like they’re made of Jell-O. That tight sequined dress isn’t doing her any favors either. She looks like a disco ball. Like whenever she spun around you’d think you were in Saturday Night Fever. Even Jessica knows she’s a little out of it. During the premiere, she asked a friend, “Doesn’t this show make you want to work out? Watching those girls, I’m like, ‘I need to get in shape.'”

Oh, thank god. I thought I was the only one who thought that. Now when I tell her to “hit the gym, fatty” at her next concert at the state fair I won’t feel as bad when she starts crying and stuffing her face with blueberry pie. Jessica Simpson gallery below. Ashlee’s gallery starts here. Another, more unflattering view of Jessica here.

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