ESC

Lindsay Lohan didn’t ditch, she was shopping

News was that Lindsay Lohan skipped out on Vienna’s Opera Ball as Richard Lugner’s escort. Turns out Lindsay missed her flight because she’s an idiot. Lugner said Lindsay’s British Airways flight left without her when she lost track of time shopping at the airport. Lindsay wanted to hold the flight but her credit limit wasn’t high enough. Lindsay needed $22,000.

All Lindsay had to do was get on a plane to make $150,000 for showing up at a party. She’s such a screw-up that she couldn’t even do that. I bet if you told her to solve a Rubik’s cube, she’d somehow make it explode. The most basic of tasks would turn into the hardest thing ever. Like if you told her to get you a cup of water, she’d come back an hour later trying to pull off a python wrapped around her neck.

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