Lindsay Lohan’s love of women surprised her

Prepare for a sexy revelation. Lindsay Lohan tells The Sun (in part 2 of her candid interview) via PEOPLE that her love of women crept up on her prone, sexy body like a bi-curious succubus. I don’t know what I just wrote. Anyway, Lohan sets the scene for the perfect woman in prison movie:

“I never really thought about women before, it kind of just happened with Samantha. It surprised me.”

“If I wasn’t with Samantha, I would probably be with a boy next. She’s the only woman I’ve been attracted to. We love each other. We might reconcile the relationship, maybe.”

Now that Lindsay and Samantha live in the same apartment building in LA, it will be hard to avoid each other. Not only that, it should make Lindsay’s plan of seducing Samantha much easier. First it’ll start with a chance meeting at the mailboxes. Next it will escalate to giggling at something Samantha said followed by a light graze of Lindsay’s fingers on Sam’s arms as she rasps, “Oh, you’re so funny!” Finally, Lindsay will ever so casually mention she’s not wearing panties and slightly hitch up her skirt. All the while the mailman, sweating profusely, nervously tries to finish sorting the mail as fast as he can before having to witness a full on Gollum-Ash Tray makeout session.