Tiger Woods thought he was entitled and will return to golf one day

Tiger Woods just finished his press conference. Tiger said he was “irresponsible and selfish” and apologized to his employees and his foundation. “I have bitterly disappointed all of you… I am so sorry,” said Tiger.

He emphasized that Elin didn’t hit him that night or ever and that “Elin deserves praise, not blame.” That he thought he could get away with anything he wanted to thinking he was entitled, but that he doesn’t get to play by different rules. I disagree with that. Rich people get to play by any rules they want. They could kill homeless people with a ball peen hammer and all they have to do is hold a press conference and go “oops”.

He also apologized to parents whose children thought of him as a role model saying he “bitterly disappointed all of you.”

Woods then focused his attention on the media claiming he never took performance enhancing drugs and told paparazzi, “leave my wife and kids alone.” Sadly, not even attempting a Chris Crocker impression.

Towards the end, Woods stated he wanted to get back to his Buddhist roots and “Starting tomorrow, I will leave for more treatment and more therapy.” And if you’re worried Tiger quit golf, he assured us he’ll return one day, but “I don’t know when that will be.”

Finished, Tiger hugged his mother, which got a little awkward when it went on for what seemed like an eternity. It was like he was trying to suffocate her. Then he bro hugged some other people. Elin was probably sitting at home hitting a golf club into her palm while watching to make sure Tiger made it clear she didn’t hit him. “Good, good,” she said. “Today, you will not get the whip.”

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11 years ago

Not enamoured with your remark about Elin. He stated clearly, for the press, you know, the people who fault him every time he DOESN’T tell you something, that Elin did not hit him, she and the kids are off limits, and you smarted off anyway. Nice going.

11 years ago
Reply to  TiredOfIt


Herman Bumfudle
11 years ago

tmi. dude, you basically said that you are the typical joe loser from the suburbs who considered it a privilege to screw under privileged prostitutes. dude, vd and std’s are not a privilege anywhere in this known world.

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