Jeremy Renner didn’t hit that

Jeremy Renner of The Hurt Locker is denying reports he “spent the night hitting on Jessica like crazy.” Renner, who brought his mom to the Oscars, says he spent a total of “three minutes” talking to Jessica. From Us:

“Her hair stylist [Ken Paves] did my mom’s hair so we were talking about that — and then all of a sudden we’re dating!” he told Us.

Asked if he’s seeing anyone, he told Us, “I’m single — and looking!”

“I’m not a ladies man!” Renner told Us. “I’m a working man! That’s all.”

He probably didn’t have the prerequisites needed for dating Jessica Simpson. An executive membership to Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory.