ESC

Andrew WK wrote good music as a kid

Andrew WK let The Guardian post a song he wrote when he was 17 which was about a girl he obsessed over and which eventually led to a juvenile restraining order. It’s only being released now because his personal manager/life coach thought it’d give him closure. Personally, I think his manager is messing with him like when your friends tell you to hit on a girl you definitely have no chance with.

The story itself is just as embarrassing as the song (you can listen to it here). Full lyrics below. Awesome parts in bold.

Called Up Your Number Fourteen Times
To See If You Were Home
Home Is Where I’ll Find You
When I Find You

Do You Feel Lonely When You’re Alone
A Sheet To Keep You Warm
Warm – Electric Blanket
An Extra Blanket

You Are My Destiny
I’ll Make You Fall In Love With Me
I’ll Make Myself Your Fantasy
Weeping Like The Willow Tree

Drove Past Your Doorway Fifteen Times
I Don’t Want To Cause You Harm
Harm – That’s What You’re In For
If You Don’t Open Your Door

So I’ll Keep Knocking A Million Times
I Will Knock Until My Knuckles Bleed
Bleed – That Blood Will Leave A Stain
On You Forever

You Are My Destiny
And I’ll Make You Fall In Love With Me, Me, Me

The story under the cut.

I was in high school in the 1990s, in a town called Ann Arbor in Michigan. I had a crush on a girl and was deeply and passionately fixated on her. She had a baby face, a 14-tooth smile, large eyes, a crowned forehead, an oversized brow and a tender style. She consumed me with both lust and hatred – lust, because I was truly drawn to her beauty and soft skin, and hatred because she rarely spoke to me, wouldn’t look at me much and never gave me a chance to show her my deep affections. I used to call her house just to listen to her say, “Hello?” Then I’d hang up, terrified and shaking with nervous ecstasy.

In our senior year of high school, when I was 17, we were required to make a final project which was presented to the head of the school and graded as our final exam. This was when my crush was at its absolute height. I decided to write a song dedicated to her and submit it as my final project for graduation. The song was My Destiny. I’ve never recorded another song like it, and now – listening to it after all these years – I can see why.

The day after I submitted the song, the head of my school called me and my parents in for a private meeting. They played the song for my parents as I sat next to them, paralysed and devastated by the humiliation. The head of the school recommended that I go into counselling or see the school psychiatrist (my parents did send me to a child psychologist following later exploits in arson, baseball card forgery and mail fraud: his final diagnosis? “You have a devilish side”). That was bad, but nothing compared to what happened a year later.

It turned out that the assistant to the head of school got a copy of my song on cassette and gave it to the girl I had a crush on. This was probably the worst thing that had ever happened in my life. She heard the song and was completely freaked out. Within three days, every kid in school had a copy. She told her friends, teachers and parents: “This guy at school is stalking me and threatening my life.” She played them the song and they called the police.

In the end, I had a juvenile restraining order put on me, which lasted until I was 21. I’ve never told anyone about it since, except my closest friends and family.

I bet his manager and his friends are laughing at his ass right now which is the only logical thing to do. Part of being a good friend is to take your buddy’s most humiliating experiences and publicize them so everyone else has a chance to laugh at them.

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