ESC

Ke$ha fail

A little while ago, Ke$ha did a photo shoot for Interview magazine. It was a massive failure. It looked like they dunked her in paint and glitter and told her to try and be sexy. That didn’t work. And the interview was just as confusing.

DIEHL: I’ve heard that you and your mom are close. Is it true that you’ll call her sometimes and say things like, “Oh, my god, I gave this guy a blow job last night,” and she’ll say, “Kesha, you slut!”?

KE$HA: Well, my mom and I are very honest with each other, almost to a fault. But that’s just the way I am in life. If you listen to my record, I’m just honest about stupid stuff most normal people wouldn’t put in a pop song.

DIEHL: Your extracurricular activities are already somewhat legendary. You broke into Prince’s house, you vomited in Paris Hilton’s shoes. My favorite, though, is a lesser known story that I heard about you relieving yourself in a sink in a London pub while Lily Allen sang to you.

KE$HA: That’s not exactly true. I was peeing in the sink, and I felt bad for the people who were waiting in line because they could hear me peeing, so I started singing, “Turn around, every now and then I get a little bit lonely . . .” [from Bonnie Tyler’s “Total Eclipse of the Heart”]. Lily did help me with the chorus. I don’t care about that stuff, though. It’s not like I’m hurting anybody. I’m not doing drugs. I’m not making sex tapes. I’m pissing. So what? I don’t think I’d have the number one song if I wasn’t working my ass off, too.

DIEHL: So, changing the subject slightly, you recently challenged Susan Boyle to a mud-wrestling match. Has she responded?

KE$HA: No. I totally would do it, though. She looks like she would be a good mud-wrestling partner.

DIEHL: I think something that people appreciate about both you and Lady Gaga is the way you flaunt your eccentricity.

KE$HA: None of it’s fabricated. Like, I have a belief that if I wear my placenta in a necklace, there’s a possibility of me gaining second sight—like being psychic. I would be wearing it whether or not I was in the public eye. I’m just honest about the things I believe in. For instance, I went yesterday to a past-life regressionist, and he told me that in my past life I was assassinated. I’m pretty sure that I was JFK in my past life.

DIEHL: I think it’s a definite possibility.

KE$HA: So did he! He also said that as a Pisces, I’m very psychic, and that anything I can do to nurture that will help. So I wear my placenta necklace. I’m also wearing a massive dream catcher around my neck to catch all the negative energy and keep it away from my soul. I’ll send you a picture of it from my phone, if you want to give me your e-mail.

The most annoying thing about Ke$ha is she tries too hard. Anyone can say they’d wear a placenta necklace, but who actually does it? That’s why Angelina Jolie was so hot back then. She was crazy. She was using knives during sex and wore a vial of blood around her neck. Ke$ha on the other hand just dresses like a second-rate Lady Gaga. It’s like her studio gave her a bunch of bullet points on how she should act and dress and she reluctantly followed them.

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emdee818

she is so fuckin weird hahaha

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