Lindsay Lohan ordered not to leave LA

Lindsay Lohan just screwed herself out of a job. Lindsay showed up to Beverly Hills court this morning where Judge Marsha Revel showed Lindsay her pimp hand.

Judge Revel told Lindsay that if she wanted to remain free on bail, she can not drink alcohol, must wear a SCRAM bracelet within 24 hours and undergo random drug testing. Lindsay must also stay within the LA area which is bad news for her because she’s got a movie to film in Texas. TMZ says:

Lindsay’s lawyer, Shawn Chapman Holley, began to object to the conditions, but when the judge said she would state out loud all the reasons why the conditions were appropriate — Holley backed off and accepted the conditions.

And the judge indicated Lindsay must stay in the L.A. area — which will get in the way of shooting a movie in Texas. The judge basically said, tough luck.

Mind you … the conditions the judge imposed must be met in order for Lindsay to remain free on bail. The judge is also scheduling a hearing to determine if Lindsay has violated her probation — the date for the hearing is July 6.

If the judge decides Lindsay violated her probation by not attending her alcohol ed program as required … she could be jailed for 180 days.

Sucks for Lindsay but this might be better. If the judge put her in jail, she’d probably be out by now. This is more torturous. It’s like dangling a carrot in front of her. Rather, a carrot laced with cocaine. Sure, Lindsay is free, but what’s she going to do? Her whole existence amounts to drinking alcohol and embarrassing herself either by stumbling around outside or falling into cacti. Her life is basically a cartoon with a plot that never changes. Like Tom & Jerry.

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12 years ago

This last paragraph: “Sucks for Lindsay but … Like Tom & Jerry.” , comedic or not, is true.