Haha, you tubby douche

Kate Gosselin is a whiny shrew who did nothing but emasculate Jon Gosselin during their marriage. Once they separated, Jon started his miraculous transformation into a balding Ed Hardy wearing douchebag. Now it’s hard to feel sorry for either of them. That makes this report of Jon Gosselin earning less than his eight kids satisfying yet disappointing.

Popeater says that Kate’s new show, Kate Plus Eight, is a hit for TLC and she and her children will earn over $700,000. For Jon’s role of not showing up and keeping his mouth shut, Jon gets $70,000.

“The reason you don’t see Jon looking for a job or doing embarrassing interviews is that he is still on the TLC payroll,” a TV insider tells me. “Jon is basically getting paid to keep his mouth shut and go away. Although it must sting him to know his kids are earning more money than he is.”

Out of the $700k, Kate gets $500k and the kids get $200k which is put into a savings account to be used for college. That is unless they forgo college to become socialites who flash their vaginas and get busted for DUIs. In which case, those savings will go towards bottle service and fancy lawyers like the producers of TLC and E! had intended.