Tom Cruise will make a Les Grossman film

Everyone seemed to love Tom Cruise’s over the top Les Grossman character in Tropic Thunder. So much so that they brought him out again for the MTV Movie Awards and are now producing a movie around the character.

Stiller released this statement today: “Les Grossman’s life story is an inspiring tale of the human class struggle to achieve greatness against all odds. He has assured me he plans to quote ‘F**king kill the sh*t out of this movie and make Citizen f**king Kane look like a piece of crap home movie by the time we are done.’ I am honored to be working with him.” Added Adam Goodman, Paramount Film Group President, “Everything I learned in this business, I’ve learned from Les. I started out as his assistant, and from the first day he threw his desk at me when I got his lunch order wrong, I have loved him like a father.”

The Paramount press release also included a “statement” from Grossman after he was asked what the screenplay would be about: “To quote my great friend Kirk Lazarus, `I don’t read the script, the script reads me.”’ Lazarus was a character in Tropic that was played by Robert Downey Jr.

This just goes to show that as long as a large vocal minority loves something, Hollywood will make a film out of it. We should all get together and play a trick on Hollywood. Let’s turn fat guys in bikinis mowing lawns into a big sensation and trick Hollywood into making a movie around them. That way when the movie bombs, Hollywood will be all like, “Wha? What happened?” and we’ll be all like, “Gotcha, Hollywood!,” and then we’ll all go to the bar and laugh at the millions of dollars Hollywood lost producing and marketing that film.