All the Kardashian’s are models now

14-year-old Kendall Jenner made her modeling debut a couple weeks ago with a beach photo shoot (photos below). It wasn’t clear what the shots were for but speaking to Pedobear, he doesn’t need the back story. Naturally, controversy erupted. People said that the photos were too racy for a 14-year-old and expressed the usual outrage accompanied by quivering jowls.

Kendall talked to PEOPLE to calm everyone down. “Going into this shoot, it was never my intention to be provocative or too racy. It was a beach shoot, and I was wearing beachwear,” Kendall told People July 28. “I am happy with my age, and am not trying to rush into anything too soon. I look forward to all the milestones my teens have to offer–Sweet 16, turning 18, and so on.” She forgot to mention the leaked sex tape and eventual reality show on E!. Those are the two most important milestones of any Jenner/Kardashian.

She went on, “My entire family was very supportive, though my dad [Bruce Jenner] was a bit concerned at first, he knows that I am responsible enough that I wouldn’t do anything I wasn’t ready to do, or didn’t want to do.” That just translates to “Daddy has no control over me dressing like a whore because my pimp mommy wears the pants.”

On the bright side, Kylie Jenner (holy crap, how many are there?), is starting her modeling career off a bit more conservative. She’s doing ads for Sears. Khloe Kardashian posted on her blog, “I just posted Kylie’s Crush Your Style ad the other day, now here is her modeling debut!!!! How fab does she look?? My little baby sisters are all grown up! This has been such an amazing few weeks for both Kendall and Kylie and I’m beyond proud of both of them! They are such good girls! They are such hard workers and so professional! I couldn’t be happier with them :) I’m a proud mama!”

Oh god. Is there any way we can get Obama to issue an order to sew Kris Jenner’s vagina shut? We can justify it by saying the world has met their quota of girls who’s names begin with K. And also we’re at our vapid whore limit.