Lindsay Lohan released from rehab

14 days of jail and 23 days of rehab later, Lindsay Lohan was rushed out the back of UCLA Medical to a waiting, chauffeured car. Lindsay used her first moments of freedom to call her mother, Dina. Probably to complain that not enough paparazzi showed up because of the decoy cars used to trick the press.

Lindsay will now receive outpatient care which means absolutely nothing. May I remind you this is the same Lindsay who was supposed to complete a series of alcohol education courses but failed to do so. In two weeks, Lindsay will forget she even has outpatient care. In a month, Lindsay will probably even forget she was in jail because the time she spent there was equivalent to the amount of time a kid spends at summer camp.