Paris Hilton doesn’t have time for drugs

According to Paris Hilton’s hair stylist Michael Boychuck, Hilton “wants everyone to know she does not do drugs and does not have time for that.” Hilton superfan Boychuck said in the 18 years he’s known her, he’s never seen her do drugs. That just means he doesn’t read the news because Paris was busted for weed twice in in one month.

“Paris and I have been texting since her arrest. Poor girl; my heart goes out to her and I feel bad about what happened,” Boychuck said.

“She told me the cocaine they found did not belong to her. She expressed to me that her career is very important and she would never do drugs or anything else for that matter to destroy what she’s worked so hard for.”

Oh, well obviously this case should be closed then. What reason do we have to question the word of Paris Hilton’s hairstylist. A guy who Paris pays to do her hair and whose word can easily be bought with a $20 tip. Too busy for drugs? Sounds like a reasonable defense to me. I mean, they don’t have fast food opiates or drive-thrus for these things so how else would you expect Paris to get these so called “drugs” during her hectic schedule of spray tanning and yacht lounging?