Heidi Montag is an imbecile. She’d probably be eating cardboard right now if someone hadn’t told her it’s not one of the four major food groups. She’s about as smart as Paris Hilton after a concussion. But at least she gives sound medical advice. Heidi tweeted a few hours ago, “Giving my self a soft tissue breast massage. Ladies we have to keep those implants soft.”
I don’t think that’s how it works. Er, I mean, that’s totally how it works, ladies. Remember to massage your implants every day to keep them soft. This technique works much better when you’re in public and is even more effective when you tilt your head back and moan. Something with the reverberations in your chest. Trust me. I watch a lot of medical dramas.