ESC

Lindsay Lohan admits to failing drug test

Lindsay Lohan went on Twitter late Friday night and surprisingly admits that she had failed her drug test. All of it was part of a rant which basically translated to, “wah wah, feel sorry for me, I have a serious problem that I pretended didn’t exist and now that I could go to jail for longer than a week, I want the judge’s sympathy.”

Regrettably, I did in fact fail my most recent drug test and if I am asked, I am prepared to appear before judge Fox next week as a result.

Substance abuse is a disease, which unfortunately doesn’t go away over night. I am working hard to overcome it and am taking positive steps forward every day. I am testing every single day and doing what I must do to prevent any mishaps in the future.

This was certainly a setback for me but I am taking responsibility for my actions and I’m prepared to face the consequences.

I am so thankful for the support of my fans, loved ones and immediate family, who understand that i am trying hard, but also that I am a work in progress, just as anyone else. I am keeping my faith, and I am hopeful….Thank you all!!!

Okay, real talk. This is the same song and dance Lindsay has done a million times before. Nothing ever changes because she’s surrounded by yes-men like her mother that tell her she’s the perfect little angel society wants to see fail. Because society loves seeing famous people fall, you see.

At least this time, Lindsay acknowledges she has a problem and isn’t making excuses. Granted, the Twitter rant felt forced like her publicist wrote it for her. You know if Lindsay had written it, that thing would have ended with 13 frowny faces and a link to another promo shot of her as Linda Lovelace.

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pman
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pman

The judge says her next Breathalyzer will be at the end of my penis!

Chewy
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Chewy

Her tweet is pure propaganda to get a lighter sentence from the judge. If I was the judge, I’d give her an extra 30 days for trying to manipulate me.

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