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Oh no, Joe Jonas’ purity ring is off

Life & Style reports that the sexy succubus known as Ashley Greene has convinced Joe Jonas to convert his purity ring into a cock ring. Or something like that. The girls at L&S say Joe’s finger no longer sports the silver band that “promises to ourselves and to God that we’ll stay pure till marriage.”

Ashley and Joe have been seen kissing and grabbing coffee together. “When they’re not traveling, they’re basically living together,” said a friend of the couple.

I can’t blame Joe. If Ashley Greene said she wanted to have sex with me, I’d take that ring and throw it into the fiery depths of Mount Doom if that’s what it took. Ugh, she is so unbelievably hot. God could strike me down with lightning while having sex with her and the only thing I’d do is turn on the fan to cool myself down.

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Guest
Guest
9 years ago

its about time someone else noticed because he wasn’t wearing for about a month

Untotallyme
Untotallyme
9 years ago

i agree, it’s been over a month!

Jaded
Jaded
9 years ago

I call bullshit, they probably do each others hair and talk about boys. His brother doesn’t even like sex with his WIFE!

Davidhott
Davidhott
9 years ago

Come on!!! If you’re going out with Ashley Greene and you don’t hit that is because you’re gay or incredible stupid I mean you’re the king of the morons.

In the Jonas’ case I go with GAY!!!

Come on Ashley get a real man you can do so much better.

RobertBruce1975
RobertBruce1975
9 years ago

Huh. that is a rather plain looking girl. What’s wrong with her nose? Cokehead?

Breal
Breal
9 years ago

that nose job looks painful

Purity Rings Online
9 years ago

I’m amazed how quickly this news spread. I just pray that the rumors aren’t true! I think the Jonas brothers were such a great example to today’s youth. I hope somebody can step up and continue to support sexual purity.

jemifanforever
jemifanforever
9 years ago

HAHAH. wow. this is hilarious.
joe jonas and demi lovato were “hooking up” after shows.
thats what made joe take his purity ring off. seriously.
& he might’ve lost it.

Softball104
Softball104
9 years ago

What a disgusting article. That last paragraph was uncalled for.

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