There’s an 80% chance of Michael Douglas beating cancer

Micahel Douglas has been given an 80% chance of beating throat cancer by an online poll of doctors. Douglas went on Letterman last night to talk about his “eight-week struggle” revealing that he was diagnosed three weeks ago but had felt discomfort in his throat and ear earlier in the year. He told Letterman that he had just finished his first week of radiation and chemotherapy. Letterman commented on how he never looked better. Douglas explained that he had stage 4 cancer and that his treatment will eventually change his voice a little and make it harder to swallow solid foods.

His wife, Catherine Zeta-Jones, told PEOPLE, “The hardest part is seeing his fatigue, because Michael is never tired.” She says Douglas told their children Dylan, 10, and Carys, 7, the difficult news himself: “Daddy sat them down and told them he has cancer now.” Zeta-Jones was also pissed that they couldn’t find it earlier.

Don’t worry guys. Michael will beat this. If there’s one thing I’ve learned about Hollywood, it’s that money can buy anything including the top doctors and the top treatments. Michael will be back to slapping his wife’s ass and throwing dead hookers over the side of a huge yacht in the middle of the French ocean in no time.

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