ESC

Beyonce might be pregnant

A source gives Us Weekly shocking news. That Beyonce is pregnant in her first trimester. That’s not the shocking news though. The shocking news is Beyonce let Jay-Z have sex with her.

“B was shocked. She loves kids, but she wasn’t ready to be a mother just yet,” says a source of the singer, who married rapper Jay-Z in 2008. “She really wanted to get her album done and tour the world again.”

Beyonce has looked a little doughy lately but I thought that was more out of laziness from being obnoxiously popular than anything else. What I just said is going to be real embarrassing if her reps deny the pregnancy because then she’ll just be a little piggy with no excuse.

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