Charlie Sheen locked a naked hooker in his closet

Before telling you how this story began, it’s better you know how it ended. With police taking a drunk and naked Charlie Sheen to the hospital at 2 AM.

Charlie Sheen and Denise Richards were in town, in this case New York, for family time and so Denise could promote her new series Blue Mountain State. God knows he had to unwind after hanging out with that shrew so he went out to party and ended up back at his room with an “unidentified” woman. I assume that means it was a hooker that could keep her mouth shut. A rare find these days. Anyway, that’s when the fun began.

The Post says Charlie noticed his wallet and cellphone were missing and flew into a rage. He threw around tables and chairs and damaging a chandelier. Police found Charlie naked and drunk and, following their Charlie Sheen handbook, sent him to the hospital.

Life & Style, however, puts things more bluntly. They claim cops found Sheen half-naked passed out in bed while a naked escort was screaming from inside a locked closet. “She was fearing for her life and was naked. Charlie was incoherent but started screaming slurs at the cops. They recognized him immediately and gave him two options: they could take him to the hospital or take him down to the station. Charlie chose the hospital.”

One of my dreams is to party with Charlie Sheen. I’d probably end up being stabbed in the leg with a plastic fork, handcuffed to two hookers, one passed out and one high on coke, and a line of blow between my ass cheeks but the memories will be more than worth the jail time. I think.