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Charlie Sheen not going back to rehab

A lot of people get real worried when police find them drunk, high on coke and naked in a trashed hotel room with a hooker screaming for help from inside a closet. Well, Charlie Sheen is here to show these Nervous Nellies they don’t have anything to worry about. Much like what happened with Sheen, no charges will be filed and they can go back to work like nothing happened.

Don’t worry if you’re still on probation either. Just look at Charlie. His probation won’t be revoked and he won’t be going back to rehab for his “allergic reaction” and instead will resume shooting Two and a Half Men, a role that affords him the title of Highest Paid Television Actor.

“Charlie will be working this week doing a cameo role, playing himself, in a small movie as a favor to a friend and has every intention of going back to work on Two and a Half Men on Tuesday,” his manager Mark Burg tells PEOPLE. “He’s looking forward to working.”

In my opinion, Charlie Sheen should be worried. Sure, cops didn’t care he was high on coke and had a screaming hooker fearing for her life trapped in his hotel room and his probation remains intact, but what if tomorrow he stubs his toe on the set of Two and a Half Men? As you can plainly see, life isn’t as easy as it seems for Charlie Sheen.

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doosh

TEAM CHARLIE!!! Douchebags UNITE!!!

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