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Taylor Swift calls John Mayer a d-bag through song

Taylor Swift’s new album might as well be a musical black book because every song is either about some guy she dumped or a guy who dumped her. First there was a song apologizing to Taylor Lautner and now there’s a song called Dear John pretty much confirming John Mayer hit it and quit it in 2009 when they collaborated on a track from John’s last album, Half of My Heart. Taylor squinted into the mic and sang:

“Dear John
I see it all now that you’re gone
Don’t you think I was too young
To be messed with
The girl in the dress
Cried the whole way home
I should’ve known.

It was wrong
Don’t you think nineteen’s too young
To be played
By your dark, twisted games
When I loved you so.

My mother accused me of losing my mind
But I swore I was fine
You’ll add my name to your long list of traitors
Who don’t understand
And I’ll look back in regret
I ignored what they said ‘Run as fast as you can.”

2009 was last year, right? I just wanted to make sure we didn’t time travel to 1999, a time when people didn’t know John Mayer was a douchebag. This was her own damn fault. John probably strummed his guitar for her and Taylor got all giggly and then they did it and then the next time they met, Taylor went in for the hug and John went in for the handshake and then she ran home crying. Aw dammit, I think I just wrote her next single.

  • gem2477

    Nah. The song is so immature and outright stupid that Kanye is probably somewhere laughing his ass off.

    • Thao Truong

      dont be jealous…that song basically says it all. its genius…how else is it breaking record…if it sucked then everyone would say so….revenge comes in everyway and she got hers by being top of the list…lets see all her haters get there like taylor did. NOTTTT

      • gem2477

        She could have released a track of her farting and it’d be #1. With her, that’s not a good demonstration of if it being a good song.

      • BigJimSlade

        It’s genius? It’s not even music.
        This generic crap wouldn’t have managed to be a B-side on a Madonna single 20 years ago.

    • earlharbeson

      Funny, She sold out 5 nights at the Staple Center for 1989 which seated a total of 86,000 people, She has sold 120,000 tickets in the Rose Bowl so far for the “Reputation”. I doubt he is laughing to loud, he made $31,745,967 on his Saint Pablo Tour, she sold $180,000,000 worth of tickets the first week.

  • AussieDan

    Remember when Taylor wrote poppy country songs…?

  • Shawn Cicero

    wow people are nutty stalkers

  • Mithrull

    Pretend to like her fans? Bwhahahahahahaha you are fucking pathetic.

  • Moise

    who the hell are you guys? no names, just jealous of her fame and success. But who can blame you? You do this for green.

    • Sinead McGowan

      ooooh Taylor’s army

  • Atomic Rat

    oh my fucking god !!!!!!

    she’s so existential… she’s so multidimensional… she’s so fucking awesomely…. banal and pedantic.

    So you really don’t have to have anything one the ball other than a good PR firm and a fair agent to be a success as a pop star.

    I didn’t believe them. It’s still hard to believe.

  • Larry

    That girl is too high maintenance and a loon.

  • Atomic Rat

    Sailor Twit – the rally face of the nazi generation.

    Nice one. The one trick pony and the goosesteppers.

    Sieg Heil, frau Taylor. I see you’re on to your next crossover genre.

  • jay

    “Except, anyone can join. Even if they are not, wait for it, fans of Taylor.” How would a phone app know whether or not someone is a fan of Taylor Swift? What’s it going to do, read all your archived text messages to see if you talk about Miss Swift with your friends and determine if you said positive or negative things about her?

  • “Taylor has been criticized by just about everyone for not speaking for or against Trump”

    Yeah Taylor is missing a beat here, I mean we all just *love* to be lectured by sage-like showbiz celebrities about politics, right?

  • me

    1/3rd of the country supports being mean and fueling drama, while the other 2/3rds has had enough. So Taylor’s drama filled, passive aggressive, mean girl behavior is no longer tolerated by most. Most of us had enough of Taylor & people like her.

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