ESC

Christina Aguilera is “horny as a college freshman”

Sometimes I wonder if The Sun makes things up just to see what they could get away with. Like they have staff meetings on what would be the most outrageous but believable thing they could post and they come up with stuff like Samantha Ronson says Christina Aguilera was “horny as a college freshman.” This according to Ronson’s music producer Marlon David,

“Jordan was never comfortable with Xtina liking girls but he thought it would make the marriage work.

“Sam said she had a threesome with Xtina in Mexico last month, that’s when she realised she was a ‘hot piece of ass’. Sam said Xtina is ‘horny as a college freshman’.” Marlon also Xtina gave Sam a Skype peep show.”

I like how all of these quotes are from a 15-year-old’s fantasy sex novel. However, I am impressed The Sun showed restraint and didn’t throw in that “one time Lindsay Lohan walked in with a strap-on and nailed each of them until they came.”

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plucky
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plucky

Maybe I could shave and tuck my junk back, then fool her into sex!

The Blemish
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I think you should do that even if you aren’t tricking her into sex. Then take a picture of it and post it on Twitter with an @tomcruise

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