ESC

David Arquette has depressing sex

Jasmine Waltz had sex with David Arquette at least twice during his split with Courtney Cox. Now Jasmine is talking about how sex with David was over so fast and was so depressing that she wanted to kill herself. Well, she didn’t say that but it’s implied. From Life & Style’s press release:

Jasmine Waltz, waitress and model, first met David on Sept. 30th when he and a group of friends showed up at Premiere nightclub, where Jasmine was working. Within 20 minutes of meeting her, David revealed that he and wife Courteney Cox had separated. “I was surprised to hear that,” Jasmine tells Life & Style. “But his friends all seemed to know about it.” However, she says David seemed agitated and depressed about the split. “He was beaten down. He mentioned that he hadn’t slept with anyone since separating from Courteney.”

Just two nights later, David went back to the nightclub and after her shift ended, he took her to a house party. They both got very drunk, Jasmine says, and left the party around 2:30 a.m. Talking and strolling, they ended up at a Hollywood home – David told Jasmine it was the house he and his siblings had grown up in. Once they were alone, David was intent on having sex.

“It wasn’t bad sex,” she tells Life & Style, “but it wasn’t emotional. It was quick and painless. Nothing exciting.” She continues, “When we were done, he just looked at me and said, ‘This is the first time I’ve felt like a man in a very long time.'” Jasmine says it wasn’t just a one-time thing, she and David had sex again.

But she was adamant about making sure he was telling the truth about the split before sleeping with him. David assured her he was single and opened up to her about what had caused the split. “I definitely got the impression that Courteney had made the decision to separate,” Jasmine recalls. “David did not seem like the one in control of the situation. Not at all.”

Quick and painless is how you want to describe a trip to the doctor or a root canal. It isn’t how you want a girl to describe sex with you. And you definitely don’t want to go full emo and say stuff like “this is the first time I’ve felt like a man in a very long time” either. At least David had enough sense not to cry in front of her. That could have made things real awkward. Even more so.

Is that header photo of them at a memorial and is David crying? Jesus. I don’t know how Jasmine kept from slitting her wrists while she was with him.

Partner highlights
Subscribe
Notify of
guest
3 Comments
Oldest
Newest Most Voted
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
str8 1
str8 1
10 years ago

He felt like a man because the sex didn’t involve Courtney strapping one on and fucking the s**t out of him.

The Blemish
10 years ago
Reply to  str8 1

I laughed because it’s true.

sheraqueenofthejungle
sheraqueenofthejungle
10 years ago

I thought that the number one rule of all sluts was:

No kissing and telling. This slut doesn’t look like a first timer, so she should have none better. Remember Jasmine, men are only with you for a couple of lays, but they do not care about anything you have to say. You know, Jasmine, you’re only allowed to f*ck, s*ck, and shut the f*ck up!

Latest
Load more