Madonna is melodramatic

Madonna appeared on The Ellen DeGeneres Show Tuesday to talk about the recent string of suicides by gay teens as a result of bullying. Madonna tells Ellen she finds this disturbing and that she can relate to feeling different.

You see, Madonna didn’t fit in in school. “I wasn’t a jock. I wasn’t an intellectual. There was no group that I felt a part of. I just felt like a weirdo.” *Puts finger in eye to stop it from rolling* It wasn’t until her GAY (I’m sure she emphasized it like that) ballet teacher took her in and introduced her to a community of other weirdos.

So… she did fit in with a group. It just took her a little bit longer than everyone else. That was a pointless anecdote but cool story, bro!

Madonna also talks to her children about bullying which, according to her, is right up there with lynching black people and Hitler exterminating Jews. Take it away with hyperbole, Madonna!

“We talk a lot about the importance of not judging people who are different — not judging people who don’t fit into our expected view of what’s cool and what isn’t,” she says. “The concept that we are torturing teenagers because they are gay — it’s unfathomable. It’s like lynching black people or Hitler exterminating Jews. Sorry if I’m going on a rampage right now, but this is America. The land of the free and the home of the brave….”

Her solution? “I think it would be interesting for everybody to try one simple experiment: Try to get through the day … without gossiping about somebody,” she says. “And not only that — not even listening to gossip, walking away from it. Can you imagine what your day would be like? How much more free time you’d have? I also feel like you’d feel about better about yourself.”

Call me crazy, but I think hanging black people and gassing Jews is a little more extreme than what some of these bullies did. Yea, their actions were despicable but if Hitler planted a webcam in a Jewish guy’s room and streamed video of him doing Jewish things while mocking him on Twitter, I don’t think he’d have as great an impact on history.

She has an amazing solution though. What a clever girl. This was just a thinly veiled attempt to get people to stop talking about her gnarled oak tree arms.