Ryan Reynolds Files for Divorce

Ryan Reynolds has filed for divorce from Scarlett Johansson meaning my dream of marrying her has taken one step closer to reality. The documents were filed on Thursday in Los Angeles Superior Court. Johansson filed her response simultaneously. Neither filed for spousal support.

The two rumors for their marriage’s demise include Ryan cheating on Scarlett and Scarlett not putting the effort into their marriage. Another not as widely spread rumor is that Scarlett was so intoxicated by my bulging biceps and well-defined abs that she dumped Ryan to run away with me.