Lindsay Lohan Is Doing Great

If you’re wondering what Lindsay Lohan has been up to since her release from rehab, the answer is not much. She’s been shopping and living the celebrity lifestyle she’s been accustomed to. Must be nice.

On Monday though, sources said Lindsay has sworn off clubbing and that she’s “completely over the club scene.” Lindsay believes cutting out clubs completely will help her remain sober. Lindsay will also be cutting off her friends who only used her to party. It’s always the innocent who suffer.

In related news, Lindsay and Samantha Ronson might be friends again because they showed up at a horror-themed birthday party last Thursday. People there wore blood and special glasses that flashed lights to the beat of music creating a “tripped out effect.” I have no idea that that means but it sounds like a real step down from cocaine.