Natalie Portman Won at the Globes

Natalie Portman won Best Actress for Black Swan at the Golden Globes on Sunday night. As she should have. That movie kicked ass. If I was on the voting committee for the Globes, I would have voted for her just for the fact that she had a lesbian sex scene with Mila Kunis. In fact, I saw a preview of it on the web and I was ready to give her an Oscar. And if you’re wondering, yes, Oscar is what I call my penis.

Accepting her award, Natalie said, “Thank you to Benjamin (Millepied)… Benjamin choreographed the film and you may remember him as the guy who, when they ask, Would you sleep with that girl? and he’s like, “No.” He’s the best actor, it’s not true, he totally wants to sleep with me!” Natalie then thanked Mila “Sweet Lips” Kunis.

Not only did she win, but she looked hot despite having a parasitic entity growing inside her. If I knew that being a choreographer I could find someone like Portman, I’d never have quit. Ballet choreographer politics be damned.